LAWS

Law of Driving: No matter how sturdy and safe the car may be, dents, near death collisions, and 1 in a 1000 mishaps linger just under the hands of the operator.

The Column

**Happenings** The Guru was seen over the weekend at NYC rocker hotspot Snitch. Our spy arrived late in the evening, and SP was already up to his out of control antics. Reports say he had been indulging in the timeless rocker classic shot of choice, Jägermeister, and generously washing them down with Budweiser. When our spy arrived SP was making the rounds asking patrons to call him a "Rude Boy" (use your best Jamaican accent). As the Jager and Bud slowly transformed SP from the shire dwelling misfit to an uncontrollable Jamaican impersonator, staff management slowly intervened. SP wise to his impending capture, made a dash to higher ground, taking a one step leap on top of the bar, gotta be the shots. Once on the bar he immediately drew the attention of patrons with his side stepping footwork, and footloose fanfare. As the crowd started to get worked up, so did SP. In an incredible display of showmanship, the drunken Guru made his way to one side of the bar, and then in an explosion of dumbness, made a mad dash for the end of the bar. Three steps into his sprint, he dropped to his knees sliding over the reminisce of split drinks, all the while screaming, "Call me a Rude Boy!"(keep using the Jamaican accent). However, our source explained due to the tremendous amount of liquor the poor guy had ingested, he misjudged the length of the bar, and flew right off the end landing flat on his chest. Management immediately scooped him up, and began escorting him to the door, all the while listening to him scream "I'm a Rude Boy!" Once at the door, SP, made a quick break from his escorts, only to turn and take a header down the stairs. Once at street level, a bouncer helped SP up to his feet, not knowing he was all juiced. The Guru gave the bouncer a quick WWF/WWE (whatever) maneuver to gain control of the situation. SP then grabbed the bouncer around the neck with his two scraped up hands, and look the man straight in the eyes. The bouncer stunned by the turn of events stood motionless. SP then said ever so quietly, that only the bouncer could hear him, "Call me a Rude Boy."

FACE

Okay only people to send in their FACE picture were Lisa and Caroline, so they get a star this week. The rest of you, shame, shame. Have no fear, I promise mine will be the worst each week, so send them on over.


FACE By: Caroline


FACE By: Lisa


FACE By: Dave

Doing the Tourist Thing

AHOY MATEY!!!

What better way to celebrate Memorial Day then a trip to the all mighty Intrepid.

We arrive to find out we were not the only ones with this bright idea. No keep in mind it is fleet week, so there were options. Intrepid-30 minute wait, one of the active visiting ships-2 hour wait. We of course opted for the short line.


"Any of you boys seen an aircraft-carrier around here?"






Claire "the roommate" and her good friend, Laetitia.


20 more minutes until I'm aboard my first aircraft carrier, "Danger Zone" is playing wildly in my head.






Once we were on, looking at the ships people had waited two hours to get on, only to find out they were really crowed, made me feel better about our decision.


"Requesting permission for flyby."


"Well, I just happened to see a MiG 28 do a 4g negative dive."


"Mustang, this is Voodoo 3. Remaining MiGs are bugging out."


The Huey


This thing looked pretty badass.


Suckers waiting in line.


This planes flies 16 miles high at Mach 3.


"It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."


Laetitia, Me, and Claire




Two shots from the deck.