LAWS

Okay so some time ago, Brad and I, were bored at work. This spawned an exchange of emails where we created these Murphy's Law spoofs. I'll post one here each Thursday.

-Law of Expectation: To any expectation, apply absolute skepticism, tempered with personal and second-hand experience of universal human misfortune, anticipate the effects of human laziness, greed, and ignorance, and still know that the experience will not live up to your expectations.-Brad

The Column

**Sighting** SP Pub Guru was seen parading around the NYU area this past week. Reports rang in after sightings at Bar 13, Cedar Tavern, The Slaughtered Lamb, and most recently The Village Tavern. He was seen with none other than NYC's bad boy of constant babble S7. Those close to the story said the two were getting a little out of control for a Wednesday night at Cedar Tavern. The two seem to be in some kind of deadlock argument over social security. The details were hard to decipher due to the constant running over of the each other's sentences. God knows why the two would be talking about such topics since one, they aren't eligible for another 39 years, and second the two will surely end up working right up to the grave. As things began to calm down, SP offered a newly print book on politics, the source declared, most likely something with a democratic swing. S7 graciously took the book, after gaining control of his eyes that had violently rolled into the back of his scull with the presentation of the book. The two then quickly paid their bill and disappeared. Moments later after the two separated, S7 was seen beating a local college student who was campaigning for an end to the war in Iraq while wearing an anti-Bush t-shirt. Our spy later confirmed that S7 circle back to apologize to the student, and offered him SP's precious democratic blah, blah book. He also gave his email address, to enable the student to send notes in order for S7 to fend off SP's undoubted inquires, as to his enjoyment of the precious novel.

FACE

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FACE by: Dave

First 18 of the Year

Saturday I headed out to play a little golf with Mike. Here are some of the highlights of two amateurs at work.



6:30 on 5th Ave and tired. It's at about this point I start to wonder why am I up this early, and start gauging if I'm going to miss the train, due to a run in with a typical early morning deli employee who managed to process my order of a buttered bagel and large in coffee, in about the same time it takes most people to brush their teeth, and shave.


Next stop Far Hills, NJ


Newark, NJ a great place to live and work...right?


It always amazing to me when I'm going somewhere, and bam out of nowhere one of these religious centers pop-up. Tucked right into the Newark skyline.


Gangster graveyard, and a nice shot of the Pulaski Skyway.


Getting closer.


Mike gooned up and ready to take some of my money with his dangerous golfing skills.





The setting for the battle, Neshanic Valley


"Back to the Beach" Mike off to a sandy start.


Home sweet home, the ruff. A typical start, and what you can't see is that I'm about 30 yards in front of the ladies tee. Way to go Dave!


Mike starts to straighten things out, finds himself a nice piece of fairway.


Setting up the machine.


Mike coming close to losing a valuable stroke.


The machine in action.


Warming up to put the pressure on in the last crucial holes.


Executing a little chip action, placing the ball safely on the green...after hitting it again on the other side of the green, due to some mismanagement of power.


Taking a practice swing to ensure victory on the home stretch 18th hole.

At the end of 18, Dave, managed to surface victorious with a win over Mike. Dave 102, Mike 106, we know we need lessons. Stay tuned for the return to Neshanic.


I even managed to get home before the rain came.