The Column

**Happenings** The July Fourth festivities brought the Guru out for a brief but eventful few moments. Our spy picked him up leaving his humble abode in the shire. They reported that he seemed to be running an errand or two, and then looked as though he was headed back home. First stop was Dag’s for a 12 pack of brew skis, and then to Memphis Trio Pizza to pick up some eats. Our spy sensed that the Guru was planning a little evening with the Centurion, and maybe some Macy’s fireworks via Channel 4.

While on his way back, our spy reports, he ran into some kids who looked like they were planning something mischievous. SP reflecting on his past days as a troublesome youth knew exactly what they were up to, and approached the young lads.

He walked right up to them, put down the pizza and beer, and asked them what they had. At first the youths quickly hide their stash, but SP assured them that he wasn’t there to bust them, but to part-take in what he believed they were about to do. After his pseudo-adult stance wore off the guys pulled a stash of fireworks out that warmed SPs soul. The look in his eyes said it all, “It’s been so long.”

The kids had all his favorites, bottle rockets, m-80’s, roman candles, and two 1000 shot Saturn rocket blocks. SP immediately opened one of his Budweiser longneck bottles, drained it, and put in one of the bottle rockets. By now the kids realized this was no average adult, but an adult going through a youth flashback. This kind of scared the boys. Watching a late twentysomething drop what he was doing, drain a beer, setup a bottle rocket, and have a lighter at the ready, in all of 2 minutes was something they had never seen before, or even heard of.

The words “watch out” rang from SPs mouth, and before the lads could take a step back the first rocket as screaming over the Hudson River. The smell of sulfur brought SP right back to middle school, and it felt good. He reloaded the bottle a few more times with military precision, and the kids were impressed.

While switching over to a Roman candle, SP grabbed a 100-count strip of thunder bombs, lit them, and tossed them down the street. They sound rumbled throughout the building lining the street, and by the time the last one exploded, SP was ready with a Roman candle. Holding the two-foot stick of 10 flaming charges, SP rained out colorful bursts of fire across the West Side Highway. Our source said the smile on SPs face was magnificent. Lighting one Roman candle with one already going, SP was in his element. The kids looked on in disbelief, and hoped that one day they too would have an adult youth flashback of the same proportion.

As the Guru was reaching into the box of M-80 to get his demolition side out, his cell phone began to ring, and he knew it was time. Looking at the phone he saw it was the Centurion, he answered saying he was right around the corner, and that he’d be home in a minute. But before he switch back to a late twentysomething pseudo adult he picked up the pizza and beer, thanked them for allowing him to part-take in the fun, and told them to be careful not to blow off their fingers or get caught. He took off towards home, but not before leaving four beers behind in exchange for a brief but needed adult flashback. As he turned the corner he could hear the lads picking up where he left off, the screams and whistles of the Saturn rockets brought another wide smile to his face, and for a moment he looked as though he was fifteen again.