The Column

**Sighting** SP was seen last night traipsing around the Bowery, and not just looking for an extra ticket to a show at CBGB’s. The Guru was with two lovely Parisian women, that’s right Parisian. Our spy saw him ducking into the ever-popular event surrounding the pond-hoping crowd, French Tuesdays. Now our spy had expressed a certain apprehension when reporting this to us because one, what the hell was SP doing with two Parisian women, and second he’s no Frenchman so why French Tuesdays? However we set our spy correct by explaining how SP Pub Guru mixes and mingles in circles far and wide, and to never count him out to trick two Lovelies into taking him to a party frequented by pretty Euro chicks. Once he breached the doors however our spy lost saw sight of him. Thinking he’d be bounced out as soon as he open is east coast mouth, spewing the soft sounds of a trained Jersey accent, our spy hung around outside for a few. Lo and behold, he never surfaced, welcomed by the Pond Hoppers. Luckily to our avail, one of our correspondents from Europe was in town, and attending the party this evening. SP entered slowly not knowing what the scene would be, and made a first lap to get a feel for the crowd. Upon entering he noticed he was not the only American to breach this chic soirée of Pond Jumpers. A quick trip to the bar, and the Guru was settling in to the Euro crowd. The two Lovelies being in their element immediately feel into place. SP followed suit by dancing the night away, or as our spy reports, began controlled falling. Throw yourself off balance and recover, throw yourself off balance and recover, repeat until whisked off the dance floor by a pretty girl, or ask to leave by an over charged bouncer. SP held his own against the two Parisian Lovelies, unknown to him upon entering, but very apparent as soon as the French tunes started to play that they were seasoned dancers. As the night went on SP settled in nicely, fending off glares from Pond Jumping gents who were on to him, dogging hip checks from large women who didn’t recognize their physical boundaries on the dancer floor. The 4 or 10 glasses of Champaign only lessen their ability to notice the people they were flinging into the stands. One Spanish couple nearly ended SP's evening when a popular flamenco song was queued up. Making his way back from the restroom, SP was sliding his was back to the Lovelies, navigating a thick crowd of drunken partygoers, not an easy feat. Nearly 2/3’s of the way there he comes upon a couple who must have just gotten off the professional flamenco circuit, for they where doing moves the Guru didn’t think possible while on two feet. As he approached the couple, our source swore they could see SP mouthing the words, “Only the penitent man may pass.” Once in the danger zone of the flailing couple, SP executed what could only be compared to the Indian Jones duck and roll maneuver in “The Last Crusade.” Safely arriving on the other side of the couple, SP sauntered over to the Lovelies, making his arrival noticeable, by his one-foot hop back after an apparent hip check. The evening started to come to close, and somewhere between Gwen Stefani’s, “Holla Back Girl” and Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love,” SP and the Lovelies made their exit, however not before breaking it down properly to Naughty By Nature’s Garden State anthem “Hip Hop Hooray.” Our source says the night seemed to be very enjoyable for the Guru and the Lovelies, so be on the look at for the return of SP at one of the Pond Jumper’s parties.